Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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