Your mouth is God's brothel.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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