my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
