how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so let's talk penis.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
