bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
