my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
