Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
