just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
