She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
