Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
