I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
