what day is it and did you see me today?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
