I just made out with a guy for $7.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
