Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
