Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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