He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
