I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
