they need to just BURY HIM!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
