Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
