My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
