SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
