i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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