OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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