why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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