if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
