if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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