So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize
