her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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