all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
