I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
