I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
