I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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