there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
