I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
