i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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