Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
