You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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