Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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