NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
