sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
