So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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