You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
