I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
