he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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