She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
