So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
