birth control should be required to get into college
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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