is your mom at the bar?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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