She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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