He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
